Sanctity of Marriage

I sent in my diamond wedding band from my first marriage and got money the very next day!

Do y’all get those Cash 4 Gold commercials where you live?  Are they nation-wide or only available here in the south?

The whole commercial is annoying, but this line really bothers me.

Earlier this week, I was listening to a local radio show on the way to work.  I don’t remember the statistic, but supposedly, there are quite a few people who believe that having children ruins marriages.  Ruins.  Not challenges private time.  Ruins.

Sheri (one of the radio personalities) suggested that the reason why the modern marriage is ruined by children was because of the motives associated with going into the marriage in the first place.  She suggested that modern marriages have more of a Janet Jackson feel to it – what have you done for me, lately – where as ‘traditional’ marriages were about having kids to have extra hands on the farm.

Obviously, we don’t need kids to work the farm anymore – so is the logical trend to have a self-indulgent marriage?  I don’t know.

What I do know is that kids grow up and what is left is the husband and the wife.  I wouldn’t say that children ruin marriages.  I think children tend to challenge the one-on-one time that a couple should experience to nurture their relationship.

Modern society dictates that as a mother, I should put the children first and the husband second.  Biblical teaching says that a wife should put her husband first and then her children.  Do you think God knows something we don’t?

As a nurtering mom, it’s often difficult for me to put my husband ahead of my children. Perhaps it’s because my children out-number my husband?  Maybe it’s because they’re louder?  What ever the reason, many times, The Man Beast comes second.  I’m working on this every day and getting better but still struggling.

I think most of us believe that our children should always come first.  And of course if a child is sick, the child’s needs preceed the husband’s.  We’re not talking about neglecting your children in favor of your husband.  And the Bible wasn’t talking about that either.  But I think God knew that we would have a tendency to nurture our children more than our marriage – even though our children need us for such a short time in comparison to the life of our marriage.

I know I have a wide range of readers and it’s possible that much of what I’ve said doesn’t apply to you in this season of your life.  But I encourage those who have children and a husband at home, nurture your children but don’t forget to nurture your marriage as well.  God-willing, your marriage will last a lot longer than you having kids at home.


10 responses to this post.

  1. Excellent advice Iva! For centuries, our ancestors knew that if we put:
    God first,
    Husband second,
    Children third.
    The fabric to hold the family together will be so strong that “no man can put asunder”. :o) I pray this reaches many folks for good works.
    Have a great Sunday!
    p.s. We’re gonna meet our mutual friend Linda (Life’s A Calling, Who’s This? blog) this week. Traveling to Birmingham to tour the Motorcycle Museum and we plan to break bread with Linda, et.el. Should be fun! Yeah, I’ll take pictures. ;o)


    • Exactly, Sparky! God, Hubby and kids. Society would have us put kids above all else. (But where is Mom in both scenarios…hmmm)

      I’m so excited that you’re meeting Linda. First Pappy and now Linda~ How exciting. (I’m glad you’re taking pictures 😉 )


  2. Very interesting. I never thought of it that way. My children are like my total life. But, I am learning that my husband is suppose to come first because one day children will be gone and you are left with each other. Ok, that sounds bad. lol.

    And yep, we have those commercials up here too.


  3. Posted by Wiregrass Steve on May 4, 2009 at 10:51 am

    The proper order should be God first, marriage union second and chidren third. The man and woman are of equal importance. Without a strong marriage where equal worth is imparted to man and woman it is difficult to provide an enviroment for the rearing of children.


    • Hey, Steve! Thanks for visitin’! You’re absolutely right. Mom and Dad are the FOUNDATION to everything that is family. That’s where it all starts (after God of course)


  4. Doesn’t apply to this season of life? Yep, that’s me! Seriously though, I’m bugged when I hear things like that, too. I remember hearing Angelina Jolie say something one time about how she and Brad Pitt don’t need to get married, and no matter whatever happens to them as a couple, the important relationships are with their children and those don’t change. Sad.


    • Ah, but prayerfully, it will apply some day. It’s amazing how people view marriage as just a thing they can get out of if it doesn’t work out. For the Man Beast and I (even though he’s unsaved), it’s forever. The D Word just isn’t an option for us.


  5. Its a balancing act to be sure. I have to give Kai his time and Em hers, but I also expect to get my time as well. I think when you view each and every person in a family as someone who has value and deserves respect and love then it isn’t so much about “roles” people play but more about being a family (as a whole) that works/ plays/ prays/ stays together. May God bless all families, and help them to come together in love and prayer. Ameen.


    • Everybody needs ‘me time’. I think a lot of us moms (or maybe women in general) struggle with ‘Chick Guilt’. But really, we need to get over it. We need to take time for ourselves. This does not mean we neglect our God, husbands, children or homes – but renewing ourselves spiritually is key to keep the ball rolling.


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